When we left the Parelli Center, they gave us a two page letter explaining the phenomenon of the Parelli bubble that is created during your stay at the Parelli Center. They also talked about the culture shock that can occur once you reassimilate back into regular life again. The Parelli Center is such a positive, progressive, and natural place! It is easy to forget how negative the real world can be. During our time in Florida, we were able to remove ourselves from our normal daily lives and immerse ourselves in a personal journey with our horse. The growing and learning that went on probably affected my personal life as much or even more as it did my life as a horsewoman. I can't even begin to describe the shift that has been made within. I just hope that I can remain true to it, and carry it forward in my life back home.
I was glad that I had planned to take the day off today. We got in quite late last night, and with the cold that I developed on the way home, it is nice to have a day to relax and get things organized and unpacked. I need to prepare myself before I join the working world again tomorrow. Even though I was warned about the culture shock that might occur after leaving the Parelli Center, I wasn't prepared for how fragile I would feel. It felt good to go to the barn this morning and have a horse that was eager to greet me. On the way down to Florida, the traveling took it's toll on our relationship. I got down there with a horse that wasn't sure she should trust me any more after two and a half arduous days of travel.
I had two weeks to concentrate on making the relationship right and better in ways that I was never able to grasp at home. It is nice to feel like some of those changes have stuck. I think I have a horse that is willing to trust me now. I thought she trusted me before, but didn't realize that I was still doing things in our relationship that wasn't supporting a trusting relationship. I wasn't always acting like a partner, so how could I expect her to? I am now so much more aware of the interactions that we have. I can choose to have them be positive now. I will choose to set her up for success, and to set her up to give me more "yes" answers than "no" answers. This is part of the shift that I have made.
One of the biggest lessons I learned in Florida was to take my frustrations and turn them into fascinations. The whole "oh boy" and "how interesting" phrases took on a new meaning when I was able to really make them part of the fabric of my life. Once I was able to do that, it didn't matter how long it took her to go over the bridge, or do any other task. It was up to me to set it up so that she was confident, willing and able.
When you come up on a "oh-no I won't" answer, you need to break it down to figure out why that is. Is it that she can't do it, or won't do it? There are different approaches to the problem based on the answer of that fundamental question. In the end, if something isn't working, it boils down to either a friendly game, porcupine game, or driving game issue. After all, even though there are seven games, there are really only three. If you start looking at things that way, then all of a sudden there is no reason to be frustrated any more. By breaking your task down into ingredients, you go back and fix the ingredients that are broken. Isolate, separate, and recombine. All of a sudden you are a problem solver that has the ability to work your way through most situations. And if you choose the wrong answer, then do the opposite, and that will usually work! Even though these were phrases and mantras that I was familiar with before I left, they somehow became more clear to me during my time in Florida.
I'm sure I'll write some more reflections later on. You can view the posts below if you would like to see a pictorial journey of our last day at the center and our trek home.
Molly and Josie
